I miss you dad. I think about you all the time. I wish you were here to see all the changes in my life. I know you loved Tony and he loved you. He talks about you all of the time. We moved into our new home and you are there with us, always watching over us. I wish so much that you had the ccnce to meet Savanna, Scarlett, and Lucas. They would have loved you and your teasing. I love you, dad. 

its been three years now sense my grandpa passed. it wasn't intil today, that i realized that he did so much for me, taught me so much, and was a great mentor. he told me stories about the wars and what the military was like, he was proud to be who he was and all that he did. he loved us all more than anything. i wish i could have had more time with him. before he passed i worried that i wouldn't be upset when he did pass away, but when my sister walked into the room crying, i knew right away what had happend. i dident stop crying intil my mom got home from my grandmas around six, and then i cried more and more. i love him more than i ever showed when he was alive. he was such a great man, greatest i have ever known and ever will know and i am so proud of him, and always will be. when a year went by sense he passed, it dident get easier, that empty feeling was still there, after two years i was almost sure that it would be gone, but it was still there, like somthing was missing, now its been three years and i realize its not ever going to be the same, that empty feeling is never going to go away, what was left was the feeling that i had lost my grandpa for forever, but i know that i will see him again one day, and im looking forward to it, i love you grandpa.

My visit's with dad...

 

 

April 12^th 2007

 

My dad passes away at 3:23pm. I left my mom’s around 6:00pm and on my way home I was crying and praying. I asked my dad to give me some kind of sign that he was okay. That he was happy. I was crying so hard that I could hardly see the road I was driving on. I was stopped at a red light at 66^th street and Ulmerton. I had been having doubts and questions about the after life for a couple of days now. After asking my dad for a sign I started to get nervous that he would get all stressed out if God would not allow him to show me that he was ok. I told my dad while stopped at the red light that if he couldn’t give me a sign to please not worry about me that I would be okay. I’m just really sad and I miss him.

Sometime early the next morning while I was sleeping I had an encounter with my dad. It was in a dream but was as real as if I were awake. I was at my mom’s house and she was sitting with the Hospice nurse going over my dad’s medication. I was cleaning up for my mom and the phone rang. I did not get to it in time. A minute later the phone rang again and I answered it, on the other line was a voice that said I have a collect call form John Graham will you accept the charges? I was really excited and said yes. The 1^st words my dad said was "where is you mother" I told him that she was with the hospice nurse. He said okay. I told him that he sounds sooooo good. (he had been sick with lung disease) I said I love you Dad and he said "I love you too Lorraine" I instantly awoke and knew that my dad had found a way to come to me. He settled my doubts and I knew he was okay.

 

April 25^th 2007

 

I went to bed about 10:00pm. I talked with my dad for a moment. I told him that I loved him and I missed him and goodnight. Sometime in the early morning I had another visit form my dad again in a dream. In my dream I was on this paved road with nothing except grass on each side of it. It seemed to be dusk or dawn (now believe it was dawn) I’m on this road and a beam of light is shining from the sky onto this road. I know that I have to go to this light but I’m saying I’m scared, I don’t want to go, what if they don’t let me come back. I hear a voice say it’s okay Lorraine no body’s going to hurt you. Then from the sky in this light I see a hand reach down for me to take it. It was a hand but not like yours and mine. It was beautiful and peaceful. The next thing I know I am up in the sky in what seem like a room. I knew my dad was there but I didn’t see him. I asked, "dad are you afraid" he said no Lorraine I’m not afraid. "I said dad you sound so good" he said I feel good Lorraine. I asked, "are you happy dad" he said I am very happy Lorraine. Then I started seeing scenes. I’m looking down on these visions as if I’m on the ceiling looking down. I see all of us standing by my dad’s bed as he dies. The next scene I see all of us at my dad’s funeral and then a flash of everyone at my house after the funeral. The next scene I was at my brother’s house and then Charlene’s house just looking in. There was a scene at my mom and dad’s place. I see my mom in bed crying, I see her in the dining room. I see the chair where my dad sat all of the time. Then I vision my mom changing the kitchen and taking the nook out where he use to sit. The next thing that I saw was my sister Laura’s house, she was in her family room standing there all by herself, she was crying and so sad. I remember feeling bad for her because she was all alone and her big house seemed so lonely and empty.

I told dad that I’m worried about mom. He said Your mom is going to be okay. I said you need to help her dad. He said "I am helping her, through you kids" I said I love you dad. He said I love you too Lorraine.

I awoke instantly and felt as if I had been awake for hours. I looked at the clock and it said 5:18 I laid in bed going over in my mind what had just happened and realized that my dad was showing me things that he has seen. He was letting me know that he is watching over us and that he loves us. I told my mom about this the next day in which she relayed the story to my brother and sister Laura. Laura called me the next day and asked me exactly what I saw so I explained to her my visit with dad. She started bawling because the previous day to my dream she was alone in her house all day crying and having a really hard time with the loss of my dad and how alone she has felt. I knew my dad was watching and he hurts for us. He loves us all so much. I remember the feeling of sadness and loneliness that I felt for my sister…..it was actually her feelings and my dad was feeling them.

Later that day when I came home from work my daughter Samantha and I were talking I she said that she was tired….that she had woke up before her alarm went off and just laid in bed. I asked why she woke up and she said that out of no where she just sat up in bed and looked around….she just had a weird feeling. I asked her what time it was and she said 5:18. I have no doubt that I had visited with my dad and he was returning me home safe. I feared going because I was afraid that I wouldn’t get back home to my family and they needed me. He brought me home.

I love you dad.

 

06/12/07

 

It seemed like forever that my dad had come to visit me. I thought that maybe the two visit’s were all I would have with him. But sometime in the night (my birthday) my dad came to me again. I was sleeping and I felt someone sit on the bed next to me. My blanket tightened around the right side of my body, where someone had sat on the bed. (I do not share a blanket with Terry because I always said he makes me feel like a rolled up burrito because he turns with the blanket and it gets tight around my body and I wake up) My dog was in his crate and my cat was outside. So I know it wasn’t them. When dad sat on the bed I could not open my eyes and I could not speak, but I could very slowing turn my head toward where he was sitting and I could feel myself smile from ear to ear. Because I couldn’t speak I was thinking in my head that I’m not afraid dad, I know it’s you, I know you’re here with me dad and I love you. I felt so much happiness and no fear because I knew my dad was telling me that he loves me and happy birthday. He wouldn’t let the day end without letting me know that he didn’t forget that it was my birthday. He was only with me a minute but I have NO doubt that he was there. Once I no longer felt him I was able to open my eyes. I felt like I had been awake for hours. I turned and touched Terry’s back and he said "who was that" I thought he too knew that my dad was there (maybe somewhere inside he did). I asked him what do you mean and he said oh I don’t know and he got up and went to the bathroom. When he came back to bed I told him what happened and I started crying. Terry told me that my dad loved me very much. I know this without a doubt. I can not explain the feeling of knowing he has visited me on these occasions…..It is the most undeniable experience. Unless you have had a similar thing happen I don’t believe anyone could really understand. But I know…..and my dad knows, that’s what really counts.

 

I love you dad and I miss you more with every passing day.

 

Another Day with Papa

A usual day with my grandfather was going to his house and listening to him tell me and my little brother old war and military stories. He was always in the same place no matter where my grandparents lived, only about ten steps from the refrigerator in the kitchen. He always liked to be close to his demise and there was not a time were I saw him without a beer or cigarette in his hand. But this day we were not meeting him at his usual place we were going to be at a place were he was going to be for a while. This place is further than ten steps of his security blanket.

Papa was not going to be speaking to us today. We were going to be speaking to him, we were going to be telling him how we appreciated all the talks and lessons he told us. The two nervous people at this place were my mother and me, we were the people with paper in our hands. My grandmother did not have the usual happy look on her face and her sunglasses were the new big ones she bought the day before. We all parked at the peaceful field were papa was going to stay for a while. There were not enough chairs for everyone so only the kids and their spouses could sit. Everyone my grandfather loved was there to here what we had to say about him. I was eighteen years old. My grandfather was sixty-seven.

The weather was perfect not to hot for the time of the year. As the ceremony started the military recognized his service and the pastor recognized his faith. My mother looked at me because it was my time to go. I stood up at the podium nervous but collective. I opened my mouth and every word seemed like I was talking to him to his face, telling him how much he meant to me and it was okay to hang out with his friends for a while till I get to see him again. Everyone was looking at me as I got to tell them how much one person has affected so many lives. I never shed a tear, to many people were looking at me for strength for I was the largest man in the room and my grandfather was usually the biggest man. My grandfather was not there physically, he was there spiritually.

When my mother finished her speech, I carried my grandfather to his place were his sins were contained he watched over me as I placed them in the ground. As each grain of dirt was placed on the container, his life lessons that he told me and my brother at his little stoop were being buried in my conscience. I was the last person to hold my grandfather before he was put to rest. He would have been proud.

 

Graham

I miss my Dad like crazy!  Keep sending those cardinals my way to make me smile at you in heaven!

I miss you dad. I think about you all the time. I wish you were here to see all the changes in my life. I know you loved Tony and he loved you. He talks about you all of the time. I love you <3

Our heartfelt sympathy is sent to John's family in their time of grief.  We knew him through his daughter, Lorraine, who has become like a daughter to us since she married our son, Terry.  May the memories held deep within your heart help to soothe your spirit at this time.  Love and hugs, Larry and Janet Eastman